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Jill
Molli, the presenter, was not only vibrant and animated throughout the day,
but she had a ton of insightful and useful information. She discussed briefly
the difference between traditional discipline and conscious discipline. One
of the mindsets this concept teaches is that traditional discipline is looked
upon as controlling the actions of others through external manipulations such
as treats, consequences, etc. and the conscious side is thought upon as
showing others that controlling and changing themselves is possible. By
teaching others how to control and monitor their own behavior, we can build
healthier and stronger relationships with our students and be looked at in a
different light.
She
talked a LOT about the three states of the brain. The survival state:
kicking, screaming, fighting, shutting down, etc., where you need to feel
safe. The emotional state: name calling, social exclusion, blame, guilt, etc.
where you need connection (am I loved?). The Executive state: attention, time
management, organization, different perspective on the world, etc. (where you
need to be to learn).
A few
things that resonated with me were “In a healthy state, you motivate yourself
internally not from external rewards”. “Rules are more of commitments (goals)
of what TO do, instead of what NOT to do.” “Teach the skills they don’t have,
instead of shaming them for not knowing.” The biggest thing that I think I
related to was this. What does the behavior come down to? Is it
non-compliance because of inability to do the work, relationship with the
person asking, or do they simply not have to tools (flexibility, impulse
control, time management, etc.) to control their feelings about it?
She
really pressed us to look at ourselves as well as the student we are having
conflict with. When students and teachers have a high level of resilience and
a fully charged inner battery, they each have a greater capacity to stay in
charge of themselves. I am definitely on board with the book study. I can’t
wait to dig deeper into this. I was told it’s not another program, it’s
another way of being.
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